Moonflower: Chapter Ten

The Calm Before The Storm

09/02/24

Four days until Ring inspection

   As much as they both wanted to get moving straight for the exit, their encounter at the train station had robbed them of all their supplies. Her notes, their meager stores of food, the lantern—everything that was in that bag had been ripped out on the asphalt a block away. That tiny solar panel tucked away in her jacket pocket was mockingly useless now without the lantern, but at least they still had the knife and rifle to rely on.

   Jacob's broken leg continued to ache terribly, so Diana made the decision to venture back out on her own, scavenging for food on their street just like before and leaving him alone again with his thoughts. They shared what little she did find between them, and it was not unusual to hear a lullaby of grumbling stomachs at nighttime. They were both weak from the starvation conditions, but just as before, it was Diana who suffered the most. He might have his injury to tend to, but she was exerting far more energy sneaking around and searching than he was sitting still in the sky. Jacob suggested she get a larger portion of what little food they had, but even so, he felt guilty for his burden and confessed it to his keeper. She only nodded with a light shrug he knew masked her suffering.

   “You're okay. You just show me the way out and we're even, cowboy.”

   It was extraordinary how different he could feel in the span of three weeks. From horrified to terrified to a tentative calm, knowing every day could be his last, each breath feeding his lungs borrowed air. These last days had been long, but there were only three nights left before the day of reckoning when they would either be killed right here in Dawson, Texas, or escape with their lives into the alien infested ghost world that humanity used to call home.

   He released a sigh and wondered what he would do if he ever got outside of these walls. Four years ago, supposedly insignificant meteors had hit the earth before scattering an unknown and unstoppable threat across the entire American continent over a matter of days. Jacob could still see that gruesome week in his mind. Locked in that dark and confined jail cell with five other inmates, no food, no way out, all of the guards deserting their posts and abandoning the men trapped inside to die like animals. 

   When they had whittled their way through the door, Goliath's leadership and control of the desperate crowd had felt like a godsend—but as time wore on, everything just fell apart. Choices had to be made. Hard choices, choices that required sacrifice. He had justified it at the time, but now, watching Diana? He knew she would never have made the call to offer innocent lives to keep the ravenous beast fed.

   Maybe life didn't have to be this way.

   “Not everyone can make the hard decisions needed to survive in this world, Porter.”

   That day on the terrace a year ago was the first and only time he had heard Goliath speak softly, the sunshine bathing the city in dark blue shadows and a deathly stillness as they stared down at the young body shredded to pieces on top of the rubble below.

   “It's a dog eat dog world,” he'd spat, the puff from his cigar floating up into a cloudless spring sky. “No one will catch you when you fall. We know that better than anyone, huh? Discarded before the end was even here…” The vulnerable sigh from the inmate's leader was wiped away in the wind a second later. “Well fuck that, fuck ‘em all. You can't trust nobody but yourself, kid… It's the only life we got left.”

   Could he trust Diana? Jacob had relied on her humanity every moment since the day they had met. He had no choice, but now, so close to the end, to freedom? It would be safer to go alone.

   The coarse fabric of his prison clothes felt rough against his injured knee, but it didn't hurt quite like before. Time and attention had healed him—as much as he could be healed. This limp may look to be an eternal affliction, but right then and there, when it mattered, she had been there.

   No. He couldn't leave her now, not when she had refused to abandon him time and time again. She was the only one who had shown him true kindness in decades. The light she exuded was hard-won and genuine, and he didn't know how she did it—but he wanted to. It felt insane for him to say, but despite his fear, he trusted her… he truly did.

   The double doors creaked open as Diana returned from her hunt. It was a can of cold soup, slimy meat, and a bag of tasteless chips again. Heaven in their world. She shared the loot freely, and Jacob caught half a grin from the advertisement on the bag before ripping it open. There had been a big comic book movie set to come out in 2020, its evidence still alive through the colorful red and white packaging. Jacob thought there was nothing quite like sneaking into the theater to see those. The pair laughed a little about it, Diana sharing how her father had always taken his two daughters to watch the blockbusters on opening day as an unofficial family tradition. They joked about the contrast of their fond memories, but they both felt it all the same… It was always the little things lost that stung the most.

   Despite the unappetizing texture, they finished their meal over discussions of lore and least-favorite villains. By the end of it they were laughing, finding themselves lying side by side on the floor, watching the light drain from the clear sky and the deep purple and blue of night seep in. It was surprisingly comfortable to lay flat on your back next to a stranger. He questioned if, after all they had been through, he should still be calling her that. Diana could be idealistic and overconfident and even mulish at times, but she was as easy a person to talk to as he had experienced in years, maybe even ever.

   Diana snickered at some of Jacob's unintentional humor and readjusted her shoulders against the hard floor. 

   “Now that we're finally being honest with each other…” The next look was steeped in curiosity, the words a bit more subdued than their juvenile conversation a moment before. “Why were you in prison?”

   His relaxed chuckle echoed in their private space. “How long ‘ave you been dyin’ to ask me that?”

   Rolling her eyes, she joined him with a giggle. “Since freaking day one, dude.”

   Jacob didn't respond for a moment. He nervously touched the old scar on his arm and glimpsed the first star to appear in the gloom, offsetting his jaw thoughtfully as he watched it shimmer. “Well, I… uh… ha.” It scared him how easily her big eyes could calm him. “Y'know, I've never admitted this to nobody before…”

   “Well now you have to tell me.”

   They laughed again, only lightly this time. She was listening very carefully and Jacob was finding it more and more difficult to keep himself from spilling everything that had been rattling around in his head these past four years.

   Fuck it.

   “I was supposed t’be in jail for thirty days. Just thirty.” The smile was ironic as he fiddled with his tarnished silver watch, the story weaving out as he recounted the past that none other had ever coaxed from his lips. “I guess I should back up, huh…” He cleared his throat politely. “I was outta my house at seventeen an’ booked at twenty-three. I won't bore you with what I got up t’ in between—when you've been roamin’ for that many years, you ain't picky on who you stay with.” His small grin turned bittersweet as he looked up into the night. “The fella was a friend of a friend of a friend. Didn't really know him, but he was nice, and the apartment was big enough f'me to sleep on the couch. He had some mental health issues, sure, but still a good sorta guy. But when his job let ‘im go… he kinda lost it. Saw only one jerry can of a set sittin’ in his kitchen one night and I could guess where he had got to. Tried to stop him but the cops came for the fire and he ran. I was the one left holdin’ the fuel can, so… I took it for ‘im.”

   Her voice was startled. “You were convicted? But wouldn’t that go on your record?”

   The question was sincere, but she didn't get it. How could she, with an existence like hers? He glanced over at her puzzled expression and shook his head sincerely.

   “Diana, my life was goin’ nowhere fast. I didn't give a shit about my record, just the next day, the next week, the next month. He'd owe me after that, too. I bet I could've stayed with him a long time after if I ever got out. Inside that prison I'd get three meals and a bed for sleepin’ for thirty days. That was enough for me, but day twenty-eight happened and, ha…” He smirked wistfully and gestured up to the stars. “There was a light show in the sky.”

   Their eyes met again. Her eyebrows were drawn together somberly as she spoke, her voice surprisingly softer than he had expected. “So you took his place because they would feed you?”

   He had never put it into words like that. “I guess so.”

   Nodding, she accepted what he had told her, but he could feel her disappointment for the world that would force a decision like his. She shifted slightly on the ground and her long dark hair framed her head like a celestial halo.

   “And you never told anybody?”

   A crooked grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Never. Didn't want to drop my reputation below the floor.”

   She was smiling again. “What, taking a man's sentence because you were freaking homeless? I think that's the first thing you've done that makes me respect you more.”

   “Oh, not me refusin’ to shoot you?”

   “Ehh…” she scrunched up her nose and shrugged. “On par.”

   It felt better to be at ease with her.

   “It's not like I was innocent before all this, Diana.” His mind mulled over his entire existence in the blink of an eye. Hundreds of small choices, right and wrong, all feeling so necessary in the moment. Maybe things could have been different if he had never left that miserable little blue shack they used to call home… His jaw flexed as he was blindsided by the mental picture, the memory stinging him deep. A lot of things would have been different if he had never done that.

   Jacob brought his attention back to their conversation. “I've done plenty of things. Shit, I've probably stolen my weight in gold at this point. I was payin’ my dues in lockup—just not the ones I was booked for.”

   “I think I understand what you mean.” She seemed to appreciate his genuine answer. “Thanks, Jacob. You didn't have to tell me that… but I'm glad you did.”

   He nodded calmly at her decency.

   Diana had asked her burning question, and now it was time for him to breach his. “So… why the hell did your entire family come t’ Texas for one job interview?”

   “They came to support me,” she explained simply. “That's just how we are. We stick together, remember?”

   “Hm.”

   The tranquil quiet returned. Laying next to each other on their backs, they stared up into a deep purple sky and watched the Milky Way turn around their silent earth. Without the city lights, the clear view out into space made you feel like you were floating amongst the stars, like all you had to do was reach out to touch their heat. It made his life feel… small.

   “Can y’tell me about them?”

   He could hear Diana's head turn to look at him, surprised by the sudden question. He didn't even know why he had asked it. 

   No, he did know why. He wanted to know her answer.

   “It's just… I don't think I grew up much like you. I want t’hear what it was like, at least.”

   “Oh, you know…”

   He looked over and met her gaze. There was no doubt that she could see the oblivious look written across his questioning face. No, he didn't know.

   The unspoken understanding was somehow heartbreaking to them both.

   “It had its moments, like the ravine bramble incident, but it was… good.” Diana swallowed to clear her throat, the tender memories carrying their own strain of resurfacing heartache. “We were all really close, so we just kind of did everything together. Family vacations, summers, birthdays, grocery runs, the whole shebang. Lilly didn't like the pickles on her burgers, so she'd always give them up when we went out to eat. Yes as kids, but even as adults, too. I got pretty good at fending off my dad for them.”

   He smiled, picturing a road-stop country diner nestled in the evergreens of the misty Pacific Northwest. A first-grade Diana climbing up her father's arm, fighting for the green topping, waved just out of reach as the whole family cracked up together like it was a nostalgic movie from the nineties.

   “My mom always drove us to school because one time a bus driver was rude to my sister.” She smirked as he raised an eyebrow. “If you were wondering where my stubborn edge came from, now you know.”

   They both laughed.

   The taste of the memory faded to melancholy in her mouth, the bittersweet emotion evident on her face. A sigh escaped Diana's lungs.

   “My family means everything to me.”

   “Do you… regret what happened?” His question was bold but spoken with a genuine softness. “Tellin’ them to go. Them leavin’ you.”

   She shrugged quietly. “They wouldn't be alive right now if I hadn't.”

   “That's not what I asked.”

   He watched her think. Diana didn't speak, only turning back to the sky, watching the moon waning millions of miles above them. He understood her silence. Jacob followed her into the stars, somewhere quiet and far away to lose themselves, if only for a moment.

   It was so peaceful up there.

   “D’you really believe they're alive?”

   Diana's honesty spoke again. “Yes. I have to, it's all I have, all I am. They're all I am.”

   “You're lucky.”

   She glanced back at his fragile words, but he remained on the moon. “Not everyone has someone who believes in ‘em that much. That's rare, somethin’ special. You should hold on to that feelin’… while you still have hope.”

   A glimmer drew her back to the night. Pale moths with the moon on their wings danced into view, rising above the sleeping city, tangling with the distant dots of white and painting a messy masterpiece of light and its deep absence.

   “Maybe there's still hope to go around.”

   He glanced over, her tender smile flickering a glow to life inside his heart.

   “I mean, you've come this far.” Her next ask was one he had been too exhausted to even consider. “What's on the other side of that wall for you?”

   The ruminative thought was like a constellation without a book—complicated and impossibly intertwined. What would happen if he ever managed to leave this place? Jacob had to think on it for a long moment as Diana waited patiently for his response.

   The earth was fucked. Nothing remained, every last person being hunted and picked off one at a time to the point of extinction, these ruthless alien creatures staking their claim on a planet that wasn't even theirs. He had seen the bombs go off in the distance too—even at their end, humanity had fought back, but they could not change their outcome. Now that there was no civilization left to run to… Where could he go?

   The former prisoner squinted his eyes at the distant stars in mournful regret. Maybe if he had done things differently, they wouldn't even be in this situation. Life had always seemed so close, like every move led directly into the next, escalating the lengths he would take to make it to another day. He didn't have time to look very far ahead when he was worried where his next meal would come from. Of course there were always uncertain questions and a myriad of possible outcomes over his twenty-seven years of life, but this next step was truly the greatest unknown he had ever faced.

   His shoulders lifted as he finally answered her quietly, the hesitation heavy in his voice. “I… don't know.”

   The chill drew Diana's bulky coat closer around her neck. “Well, you're welcome to come with me, if you'd like.”

   He glanced at his leg, then back again.

   She smirked. “I find your limp endearing.”

   The serious moment melted away into the blue of the distant moon. 

   “Aw, well… ain't that cute…”

   “Whoa, I never said cute.”

   “Ha,” Jacob laughed it off with a blushing tease from sudden nervousness, “w-well… ya do have your moments.”

   The stars sparkled in her eyes and the tentative touch of their hands settled him. Just the sides, their pinky fingers barely brushing in the darkness. It felt so nice. The comfort of another human being, someone to cling to in the horror despite all their challenges and differences. Was this hope even real? He hadn't felt it for so long.

   A courage took him and his hand pressed closer to hers, quickly staring skyward again to avoid the thought of vulnerable eye contact. They stayed there, quietly listening to the song of the breeze above their caved-in roof, the city reclaimed by life as the wide heavens and minuscule insects danced together in harmony over the cool of the night sky.