Moonflower: Chapter Seven

Her Faith

08/27/24

Ten days until Ring inspection

   “Ah!”

   “Shoot,” she muttered, the touch of her hand cold on the burning flesh. “That's looking worse, don't you think?”

   He nodded quietly, wincing from the tug of the ugly wound as she carefully re-wrapped it. Walking to her backpack with his old dried and bloodied bandaging in hand, Diana tipped the jug of water over the fabric, trying to clean it up as much as possible. Jacob scrunched his nose as he watched the precious liquid soak through the brown stains uselessly. After their escape a week prior, they only had the two bandages left to use—one from taking care of her arm, and the other from tending to his leg. The cut left by the creature on Diana's arm had scabbed over by day two, so she thought to be frugal and transferred the used bandaging back to him. Their escape had strained the twisted leg horribly. It was nasty to only switch out between these two wrappings, but it was all they had on this side of the city.

   It was still swollen and bruised blue, but the skin was beginning to close over the tissue. Whether that fact was a good thing or a bad thing was unknown to him. His injured limb would take more than a few weeks to heal, but they didn't have weeks anymore—they barely even had days. The next Ring inspection would be in seven and the breach that would no doubt be discovered would rob them of their only chance of escape if they couldn't reach it before the end of the week.

   If they even could reach it. After the city had faced a barrage of bombs nearly four years ago, much of Dawson had been flattened, leaving toppled skyscrapers and craters where apartments used to sit dotted all over the map. It was a maze to navigate, and Jacob was struggling to remember it all without Brayden's detailed map to reference off of. He did know that to move through the buildings unseen you needed to travel very carefully and therefore very slowly. They were sitting at the city center now, only half a block from King’s Street Station and hiding out in another top floor office building, but that left them very far away from the tiny breach in Sector Three of the Ring. The street that held their escape was close to the jail at the edge of the city, and it would usually take multiple days to travel that far. They were cutting it awfully close, but Jacob knew that there was simply nothing else to be done with his broken leg—and it seemed that Diana's stubborn spirit would never drop this impossible search.

   He was still so hungry too. There was barely anything left now. No cans in her backpack—only a handful of little sealed bags of broken and stale potato chips. His stomach rumbled longingly, and his thoughts wandered to how edible his leather jacket might be. Jacob’s appetite was killing him, but he was sure Diana had it worse. After all, she was the one wandering outside everyday to search for something for them to nibble on in the dark. She must be using far more energy than him. With that humbling thought ever in his mind, he tried to remain patient, but his cravings were becoming relentless. Damn, what he wouldn’t give to taste a nice steaming hot bowl of ramen noodles again…

   That day passed uneventfully with his pining to keep him company. The storm filtered in past the tangle of ivy that framed the rough cracks in the concrete ceiling of their damaged safe haven. It was soaking the ground he was lying on, but at least he had a coat now. It protected his face from the drizzle as he draped it over his head of messy blond hair. Jacob tucked his knees to his chest and put his arm over his blushed-colored nose to try and keep it warm in the awful downpour. Shit, this place sure got stormy a lot. It was miserable inside the derelict bombed building, but to be fair, anything was better than the alternative.

   Diana was somehow still sitting up in this deluge. Despite the fact that they could not move in to search the station yet, she had been glued to the hand-drawn map at every spare second. Her rich chocolate eyes scanned the barely-coherent lines over and over again under the dim light of the lamp as it flickered on and off from the minuscule amount of power the cheap thumb-sized solar panel lent it. She was holding her jacket over her head like him to protect the important notebook, but the position was leaving her back exposed to the elements.

   “Y’know, you're goin’ to catch cold like that.”

   She didn't move an inch. “I don't think that's how colds work.”

   His frozen nose wrinkled at her sarcasm. That woman was as stubborn as the ivy that infested this city.

   Ugh, fine.

   Sitting up, he crawled beside her, holding his much larger coat out to shield her back. She didn't say anything for a moment.

   “… Thanks.”

   “Sure.”

   Diana looked up past the fabric of his jacket, staring into the patterns of raindrops that were streaking down from the Dawson sky, the city's storms nearly as persistent as she was. “At least the plants get a drink.”

   “Yeah…” He glanced curiously at the gray clouds and breathed in the fresh smell of rain. “I guess so.”

   They sat like that for a long while. Diana asked about the entrances for the millionth time and Jacob answered as patiently as he could. It had been like that for a week as they inched closer to their destination. Diana was cutting it awfully close, but nothing Jacob could say would dissuade her persistence. The only thing he could do was simply resort to giving her anything and everything she would need to survive in there. He couldn't remember much on guard placements or hard numbers, but he gave what he could—anything that might keep them alive—never forgetting to heavily emphasize the danger she was walking into.

   Jacob knew the real reason he didn't want her anywhere near that building. Every prisoner wore the exact same gray two-piece clothing set that he was currently dressed in, minus the new coat of course. Diana wasn't stupid, she would put two and two together if she ever saw them up close, and what would happen if she did? The thought of the knife he knew was currently resting in her pocket rang in his ears. If she discovered his lie she would fucking kill him, just like Goliath would for his betrayal.

   … Wouldn't she?

   He didn't want to find out.

   Eventually the rain let up, stripes of pastel pink decorating the heavy gray clouds as the day neared its close. It was getting even colder, and Jacob's stomach was complaining again from the lack of a meal.

   “Did y’find any more food today?”

   “No.”

   Damn it. In the four years inside Dawson City Jail Jacob had spent plenty of nights holding his stomach, but at least he was sleeping in a dry cell back then. Now he was huddling beside a crazy woman on a suicide mission—dripping wet, shivering, and most frustratingly: starving.

   “But I did find this.”

   It was strange to see such a pristine item in this rotten world. The deck of cards was still in its packaging, crisp white corners with printed red and blue embellishments adorning its front. She cut the tape keeping it closed with her knife and folded out the lid to drop the stack into her palm.

   Diana shrugged at his questioning look. “Might as well, eh?”

   The thin layer of damp dirt immediately stained the cards as they flipped them down to begin, their silky white paper dusted with the apocalypse. It almost felt a shame to dirty them, but the idea of something as easy as a classic game of cards was a relief in this limbo of life and death. A small smile creased the little lines around his eyes. Diana flicked the light off and pocketed the keychain as Jacob tugged the jacket sleeves over his forearms, exposing his old scar to the cool air and excitedly readying himself for the challenge.

   “You ready to lose?”

   “Ha! I have experience on my side.” The competitive glint warmed Diana's face as she shook her head and tucked her long damp bangs back. “I remember playing this with my sister on one of our mind-numbingly boring road trips. Good grief—that was an impossible win.”

   “Oh?”

   The corner of her chapped lips lifted into a smirk and she looked like she was recalling an old inside joke. “Lilly and I… we're on the same brain wave. I mean, I can recognize her facial tics as well as my own, and so can she! It made everything way too tense—my dad almost had to pull over from our arguing. I'd much rather play a co-op video game with her than that kind of stuff.”

   Jacob raised an eyebrow and Diana grinned with a fierce snicker.

   “Don't you look at me like that!”

   “I'm not lookin’ at anythin’!” He feigned surrender, setting up his move for the next turn. Jacob watched her eyes carefully study her hand as he probed further. “What kind?”

   “Mario, Overcooked, Wii Party…”

   “Ah, you were a Nintendo girl. I see.”

   Diana glanced up over the white cards, a subtle coy twinkle playing in her eye. “That and Black Ops.”

   “Ha,” he grinned slyly, “you look like someone who would play COD.”

   She laughed as she challenged his draw. “And what is that supposed to mean?”

   “Duos?”

   “Solo.”

   Ah, hers was an aggressive hand, it seemed. “So you're a lone wolf type, huh?”

   She was rolling her eyes sarcastically, but her signature strong smile could not be subdued for long. “What is this, Buzzfeed?”

   Jacob couldn't help but chuckle at the reference. He flipped down another card, casting his mind further back than he had thought of in a long time. “Damn, I almost forgot about them. What was that, 2016?”

   The game was going hard but their conversation didn't slow a beat. Diana was still grinning as she wrinkled her nose at him. “2014.”

   “Holy shit.”

   “Ten years ago.”

   “Holy shit!”

   They both giggled for a minute before going back to examining their hands. Man, it felt good to joke again.

   “You were right about the loner bit.” The cords in Diana's voice had returned to their playful base. “You know, prior to the creation of the social butterfly you see before you, I used to keep to myself, mostly.”

   Jacob found that hard to believe. Her unwavering optimism was so pervasive it was almost aggravating, and to hear that she had not always been this outgoing was completely unexpected. He peeked up over his cards and gently prompted her further. “Really?”

   Diana only shrugged with an ironic laugh. “Turns out four years of isolation in a bunker will do wonders for your friendliness meter.”

   The mood shifted a bit at the mention of humanity's fall. He understood that no one could go through such a traumatic experience unscathed, but Jacob had figured that if anyone could, it would be the indomitable Diana Koh. He lowered his hand as he considered the shock of the statement. “I can't imagine it, four years alone like that…” His voice weakened a little. “How did you survive?”

   Diana glanced up curiously, her intently-perceptive gaze locking onto his. “Well, how did you?”

   Oh shit. Over the few weeks the two of them had spent cooped up together, Jacob had nearly forgotten the tapestry of lies he had woven to hide his part in her waking nightmare. He was supposed to be just like her—an innocent survivor, an exile only doing his best to keep himself afloat, not one of the monsters masquerading as men that were hiding away in the bowels of Dawson City Jail. The reminder that he was at least partially at fault for the hell they were currently living in filled him with a sick feeling, but he did his best to hide the discomfort with a feeble shrug. “Heh... Toosh.”

   Diana looked as if she was holding back a giggle. “It's touché, I think.”

   “Ah, right.”

   At least she hadn't noticed his slip-up. Instead, the bright young woman continued on, finally choosing a card and returning to the subject they had drifted from.

   “My parents used to call me the lone ranger. I was always off in my own little world, head in the clouds, not great for a social life. I only ever managed to keep a handful of real friendships going as I was growing up… Maybe that's why it seemed like such an easy decision to try for the firm in Texas. The only ones who would miss me had already left the state, it was just me and my family on the west coast.”

   He played another spade. “Then why would you plan on movin’ away from ‘em?”

   “Oh, you know. Strike out on your own, find some kind of adventure in your life. Movie plot stuff.” Her words became tender and he thought he noticed a hint of sadness in the candid way they were spoken. “They didn't want me to go. And I mean, it was the right decision for my career, but to be honest? It didn't feel like it mattered where I lived. I had never really felt like I was part of the community anywhere. In school I was the only mixed East Asian girl in my classroom, and in college I felt like…” She bit her lip and stopped for a second, sighing a little. “I don't know. Like I both stood out from the crowd and melted into it—an invisible spectacle. It’s weird, not being fully part of any singular group… you don't feel like you have a claim to anything.”

   He pondered the exposed loneliness of the mental picture as Diana's posture drew up slightly in discomfort. What would that feel like? To be constantly pulled between two worlds, always checking two boxes, knowing that with only a glance everyone you ever met was putting a different label on you than their own before you had even spoken a word to them—it sounded isolating. Jacob had grown up alone most of the time but he had never experienced a feeling quite like what she had described before.

   “But I always had a place with my family.”

   He could hear the recognition in her voice. At last she was seeing the truth in the wild waves of her own past, something he had never dared to look back on like she was doing now. A gentle calm crept into her pensive face and the room went quiet as she slowly found the words for how she felt. 

   “I love them, and they love me, yet I always took that for granted. I never felt that belonging anywhere else—but I had it there, back home. My family is my home… and I never told them that.” The moment of clarity shimmered in her eyes like stars on the dark backdrop of the night sky. 

   “I wish I would have said it out loud, but I never did. Do they know they mean everything to me? I swear, I would give anything for just one more day with—” 

   Suddenly she glanced down, smiling softly.

   “Ah, you won.”

   They both stared at the winning hand on the floor. The wheels in Jacob's brain were turning, and he imagined Diana might even be able to hear them as they sat together in the pause, the atmosphere so quiet that you could hear the last drops of water dripping in from the leaves.

   Her voice was flat as she broke the long silence. “If you're going to say something about my parents definitely being dead I'm gonna punch you in the face.”

   “No, no,” Jacob shook his head with a faint smile. “It's not that. You were—th-that was…”

   “Dramatic?”

   “No.”

   “Cringey?”

   “No.”

   “Hopelessly desperate?”

   “No!”

   He sat back, searching the ceiling for the right word. “I thought it was… sweet.”

   It didn't look like she was expecting him to say that. “Oh.”

   Jacob found it curious how her cheeks would blush at such a simple observation. She really did long for that human connection, didn't she? Even through the brutality of Dawson City Jail, there was some community to be experienced within those oppressive concrete walls. Like the precocious planner Brayden Edlund—though they weren't all that close, Brayden was as near to a friend as Jacob had experienced since his school years. He felt himself becoming worried at the thought of the clever young man left in there on his own.

   I hope he's alright.

   “Jacob… Do you know what happened to your family?”

   Ah, of course. Her question had been asked rather delicately, but he had a feeling that she had noticed his lack of stories on that end. His tragic grin said enough. 

   “Let's just say I lost what I had long before the end of the world.”

   She nodded once, being kind enough to respect his privacy. There was another pause as she shuffled the deck. Now it was Jacob's turn to be nosy. “How'd you lose yours?”

   Diana was pensive, staring into some unseen middle distance like she was watching it happen all over again. The warm darkness of the room coddled them like a heavy blanket now that the storm had passed. For a moment Jacob was afraid his question had pushed it too far, forcing her into recounting a history she only wanted to forget.

   “When the meteors hit…” Her voice petered off as the bitter memory took hold.

   Jacob nestled in place, his leg laying flat and as comfortably as possible as he concentrated quietly, softly nodding for her to go on or to simply stop there. Whatever she wanted, he was listening.

   The corners of her lips lifted gratefully.

   “My family and I were only visiting Texas. Like I said, the whole reason we were all in the city was because of the job interview… my interview.”

   It was difficult for her to relive it, he could tell. Diana's hands had stopped shuffling the cards and just laid them gently on her knees, but her nails still clung to the deck, her expression a new version of sincere as she told her story to the cracked shell of a man before her. The syllables were coming slow and steady as she let them leave her dry lips.

   “The initial word from the government was to shelter in place, so we did. But, of course, that didn't work out. We had no idea what was going on and it all happened so fast… Before we knew it, we were running for our lives, but no one was getting out of the city. Those aliens were everywhere within two days. My family and I hid in an empty warehouse with the others. The army rolled up to evacuate as many as they could but there was this gate and… well…”

   Her glance met his momentarily before returning to the past.

   “Well, I ended up on one side of it and they were on the other. I was trapped, but there was one way out for them to escape.” She looked down at the stack of cards in her closed hand, her gaze distant like she was still back there on that night. “I told them not to wait for me.”

   “What?”

   He blinked in the fading light, grappling internally to understand what could have possibly been going through her mind at that critical moment. Jacob had begged Diana not to leave him. He would do anything, anything for the chance to live just one more day, but she had given it all up, just like that? It was beyond his comprehension. The whistling breeze filled the long pause in their conversation. She shifted slightly and he could spy the tension in her jaw. There were no tears, but the thinly-veiled emotion on her face was fragile—something he was just beginning to realize that he truly desired to understand. The unfamiliar feeling was growing everyday, small and delicate, but still it grew. He wanted to understand her.

   “Yeah.” She swiped at her runny nose, breathing in deep to control what was underneath. “They had to get out, and they did. They did.”

   He lowered his head sensitively, peeking down to catch her eye. His voice was soft in the question. “And you?”

   Diana searched his pale blues. He didn't know what she was looking for. A kindred soul? He wasn't one. Jacob had no family to miss him like she did—he might even be the furthest thing from a gentle heart like hers left alive. No, not kindred souls, but maybe an understanding one, the knowledge that she would be heard and listened to, if nothing else.

   “I was stuck.” She leaned her back to rest on the wall and slumped down a bit in defeat. “The aliens attacked before the cars had come back for us, so I ran. I have no idea where I went—it was a complete blind panic without my phone. I didn't know the area and everyone beside me was being torn to pieces. I just ran as fast and as far as I could. Ended up somewhere past the suburbs… all the way to the outskirts, I think. There was one right behind me, but I got lucky, if you can call it luck… It went for someone else and I lost it for a minute by hiding in a house. That's when I met him.”

   The emotion was bittersweet on her tongue.

   “I have no idea what his name even was, only that he was bleeding out. Those things go for the stomach, you know. It's horrible, just horrible… He wasn't going to make it so he gave me the pass code to his shelter. Can you imagine that? The chances of ending up at the one place with a bunker and a man willing to let me use it. I tried to drag him with me but he wouldn't hear it.”

   Her face spoke before the memory left her lungs. “‘Get out of here, kid. Go live.’” She looked back to Jacob, back in the present again. “He saved me and I didn't even know him. The only reason I'm here today is because of him.”

   Jacob knew that feeling. It was exactly what Diana had done for him—reaching out when she never should have. The inner conflict was mixing like oil and water inside his head. It couldn't coexist, the grateful warmth that he was experiencing from her compassion contrasted sharply against the knowledge that he would never have done the same in her position. It was eating away at him, confusing every thought… and it hurt. He had to stop it from hurting.

   “Then he was a fool.”

   Her mouth set into a hard line but she didn't move to respond. He continued, his voice low and raw, even bitter in the defense.

   “You can't rely on anythin’ other than yourself, Diana. That? That man was a cosmic fluke. No one is goin’ to be watchin’ out for you when you need it the most… Best to just keep your head down t’survive ‘til mornin’.”

   “I hope I will be able to make my life more than just survival.” Her expression had softened. Was that pity in her hushed tone? “When I find my family… it will be.”

   He shook his head. “I wish I had your faith.”

   “Don't you?” The wind had died down, the quiet ambiance now adding emphasis to her sensitive words. “I helped you, didn't I?”

   He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again.

   You wouldn't have if you had known.

   The quiet pause finally ended as Diana spoke up.

   “I have to find them, Jacob. I don't know what I'll do if I don't.” Her eyes were heartfelt and wide. It was the truth, Jacob knew—she didn’t have a choice, not really. Her life had been woven into the braid of her family’s fate and there was no combing it out now. Whatever he said to dissuade her from this self-inflicted martyrdom was of no use—the pain of his lifetime was invisible to her eye, and her rose-colored perspective to his. The chasm of difference between them stung in his chest as he admitted it aloud to the ghosts of Dawson City.

   “I know.” The serious moment lingered in the air before he purposefully relaxed and conjured up an easy look to disguise the conflict inside him. “An’ well, as long as it takes you outta this place, I think you should definitely do that.”

   Her warm smile brought a new fondness to his chest. It was genuine, open. She had trusted him with something personal, something from her life before all of this. A beautiful life, a happy life… the only one she had ever known.

   In an instant his wounded heart plummeted back down from that beautiful high. She was telling Jacob the ex-prisoner this, not Jacob the shooter, the one who was responsible for her being trapped in this shithole in the first place. He closed his fingers into fists and felt a cynical ball forming at his core. He wasn't like her—he didn't deserve this gift of kindness.

   “Hey, are you okay?”

   She had noticed his shift.

   “Yeah.” The mask was up again as he rubbed at his nose before shrugging calmly. “Only that I'm terrible at this game an’ somehow you still managed to lose.”

   “Ha!” His evading answer seemed to be enough to satisfy her. She smiled wide and grabbed for the cards again. “We'll see about that.”

   It doesn't matter. Jacob didn't believe that statement, but he kept repeating it in his mind, over and over again until the syllables lost their meaning. They would get out of this hell together and then they would both go their separate ways. She would never have to know. She couldn't know…

   “I'll go with you.”

   Her face shot up from the shuffled deck. “You will?”

   The last smell of the rain filled his lungs as he sighed, nodding slowly. He knew it was a fucking stupid plan. As unlikely as it was that Diana could make it through King's Street Station, that number would be doubled with his limping ass slowing her down, but something inside him was telling him he had to. It was so dangerous, she could be killed or captured—or worse, she would make it out alive, only to discover that he had been one of them all along.

   He exhaled sharply. The guilt felt like a fever under his skin, suffocating and heavy, something he wouldn't be able to bear forever. He couldn't let that happen to her—he just couldn't.

   “Please, Diana. Let me help.”

   That intelligent gaze studied him closely. He was an open book, tattered edges and smudged lettering, critical pages missing, but nevertheless open to her. It had not been his choice to trust her, but now he was on his hands and knees begging to finally earn it.

   A small nod and the hint of belief in her dark hickory eyes released the tension in his aching muscles. “Okay, Jacob. I trust you… Don't let me down.”